Siri by LELO

Siri by LELO is simply a wonderful little gem of a toy.  It fits into the palm of my hand, the buttons are exactly where I would want them to be and it is so easy to use. Siri can be used on your clit or labia, if you so choose. I am a big fan of clit vibes, so this works very well for me.

Siri is made of silicone and ABS plastic.  The Siri measures in at a little under 4 inches long, almost 2 inches wide and weighs less than 12 ounces.  One would think that because this is such a light vibe, that it wouldn’t have much in regards to satisfying power. That thought turns out to be so wrong where Siri is concerned.

When you first take your vibe from its box, you need to charge it for a full two hours. You will know that it is done charging when the LED lights stop flashing and emit a steady glow.  The Siri has 4 buttons; a plus, a minus, an up arrow and a down arrow. The Siri can be locked so that, you can travel with it. You simply need to hold down the plus and minus buttons together for  several seconds until the lights dim. To unlock it, do the same until the lights brighten. To turn it on, you need to press the plus sign. To increase the power, hold the plus sign down. When you want to decrease the power press the minus button. This also turns Siri off if you press and hold it. Pressing the plus sign takes you through the different levels.

Siri is very quiet, even at its highest level. You cannot hear it through a closed door at all. I used this while watching tv with my husband and he didn’t even notice it for quite a bit. Only use water based lubricants with the Siri and don’t put it in water. I found it easiest to use toy wipes to clean it.


  • rechargeable
  • quiet
  • multiple speeds
  • lockable buttons
  • powerful
  • easy to hold and use
  • small and discreet


  • not waterproof

I was not at all surprised to enjoy this toy so much. I have had so much success with the last few LELO toys that I have tried. I am really impressed with the design and power behind this toy. This is definitely a 5 star toy!

Thanks to Babeland for providing the Siri in exchange for an honest review.

Hitachi Magic Wand

The Hitachi Magic Wand is a vibrating muscle massager that has  long been commandeered by many seeking greater orgasmic fulfillment. I had often wondered what the big deal was, I mean seriously; it’s huge, everyone says it’s really loud, it only has 2 speeds and I might have forgotten to mention that it’s um…huge! It was provided for me to review by the generous folks at Babeland.

Well, I can honestly now see what all of the fuss has been about. Let me tell you the specifics about this particular equipment ( because seriously IT IS NOT A TOY… it is much too awesome to be called a toy) and then we will get why everyone should have this in their toy box.

The Hitachi Magic Wand is a vibrating wand massager. It has been around since the 70s and seems to be a staple in the adult film industry. It runs electrically and is only for use with 110-120v power sources. The Hitachi is 12 inches long and the head is 2 1/2″ in diameter. It comes with a cord that is over 6 feet long. Look at it this way, if it doesn’t work for you sexually or isn’t soothing to your muscles, you could always carry it in your car and use it for a weapon if someone tries to rob you. Weighing in at 1.2 pounds and having almost enough cord to use it like a lasso, it will definitely give someone pause if you swing it at their head a few times.

Ok, on to the reasons why everyone should have one of these bad boys. You can use it as a muscle massager or as a clit massager, either way you’ll be nice and relaxed when you’re done. It is sturdy and easy to hold on to. After using another wand massager which I will not name ( let’s call it the Wannabe Hitachi), I really felt as if wands weren’t for me. It was clunky and it just didn’t fit my contours well at all. The first wand massager was almost enough to turn me off for good, but after trying the Hitachi, I see it’s the one I should have gotten in the beginning.

The Hitachi is made of vinyl and hard plastic, which are very safe materials that are super easy to clean. Some soap and water or your toy cleaner  are all that is needed. You will be done in a snap. The box that this comes in is pretty discreet, but let’s face it, there are very few people who don’t know what a Hitachi wand is used for.


  • Electric- makes it worth it just so you don’t have to buy tons of batteries
  • Flexible
  • Powerful
  • Easy to clean
  • I found it to not be too loud for me- you can hear it in my room but since I use music to cover most of my toys anyway, it wasn’t something that could be heard through my closed door


  • Only to be used in the USA
  • Should only be used for less than 30 minutes at a time ( let’s face it, if it takes you more than 30 minutes to get off with a Hitachi, you have a “Clit of Steel” and nothing is going to work for you)
  • not waterproof ( BECAUSE IT’S ELECTRIC!!!)
  • only 2 speeds ( low which is really- Phasers set on stun and high- which I have no clue what something this high would be called other than OMG OMG, I am a puddle of goo now..)

If I could give this a thousand stars I would. It is just that damn good! One thing I would suggest though, and I am going to invest in it myself, is to buy the wand controller. This makes it more of a variable speed instead of simply a 2 speed vibe. As a plus the wand controller adds 6 more feet of cord so that it gives you a little more room to move away from the outlet.

I gave you pros and cons on this item, but the cons aren’t necessarily a bad thing for me, because most of those don’t really hinder me at all. I live in the USA, it took like 10 mins for me to get off with this, I play better in bed and I barely even used it on high ( low was just fine for me and was probably stronger than high on many of my toys). There is definitely a special place for the person who thought this particular toy up. 5 of 5 stars!

Brandon Lee dildo

This is my very first realistic dildo, and I must say, I am VERY impressed! I am not sure why I have never had one before, I think it is just my aversion to the male anatomy. I think that the penis is ugly, so having dildos in pretty colors makes them more tolerable to look at, lol.

The Brandon Lee dildo is a total of 8.5″ long, which includes a suction cup base and testicles, leaving 6.5″ to be inserted. The suction cup base can also be used to hold the dildo in a harness. It took some force, but I was able to get it to fit into my SpareParts Joque harness, and once it was in, and I had the harness on, I couldn’t stop playing with it. I kept stroking it and staring at it, man it looks so real! I have always wanted my own cock, so this was nice to play around with and admire…which was odd, given my feelings of how the male anatomy looks.

It has a nice amount of girth as well (check out that photo, it looks REAL! WOW) and is 6.5″ around (measuring in a circle), which is about 2″ wide.

Even the frenulum was masterfully crafted to appear human-like.  I was very impressed with how well this captured the human anatomy. I honestly didn’t think it was possible to make a toy look so real.

This dildo is made from SensaFirm material, and is the first time that I have used this type of material. SensaFirm (aka Pleasure Skin) is compounded to mimic real skin and has a high molecular density, which allows for flexibility and resilience. Unfortunately, it is very porous, making it difficult to keep clean over time, and if used with a partner, should always be used with a condom. SensaFirm is a combination of Polyvinyl chloride (PVC), and a Thermal plastic elastomer (TPE) variation, which means that is does contain phthalates. I am hoping the smell will go away after a while, but I will always use a condom with this dildo, due to the chemical compound, and not wanting them to leech into my body. You should only use water-based lubricants with SensaFirm toys.


SensaFirm is extremely sensitive and should be cleaned following every use with warm water and toy cleaner or antibacterial soap. Toys made of these materials should be stored in dark cool place.

All-in-all I really like this dildo. I am not sure if this look could be achieved with a phthalate-free toy, but I know I will be searching for a healthier replacement. If I find one, you can bet I will let you all know!

I received the Brandon Lee SensaFirm Penis from EdenFantasys in exchange for my review, and now I am hooked. I MUST have more realistic dildos! If you have any suggestions for me to try out, please leave a comment below.

product picture
Realistic dildo by Topco
Material: SensaFirm™

Bootie by Fun Factory

Babeland gave me the opportunity to try out the Bootie by Fun Factory in exchange for a review, and I am very thankful for this!

The Bootie is an anal plug that is fairly small and very easy to use anal plug. It is curved to have a natural fit inside any body and is about 3 inches long and one inch in diameter at it’s widest point.

I enjoyed this toy as a regular anytime plug, for walking around or for intercourse. It was small enough for me to want to wear it outside of the bedroom for that little sexy secret, yet large enough to fill me so that I could feel it well during sex. Unlike most people, my anus tends to expel things, rather than suck them in (which is what a flared base is there to prevent), but I was able to keep this in without any effort. Usually I will have anal toys that just slip right out within seconds, so I was really pleased with this.

The Bootie is made of Silicone, making for a very comfortable fit, because of it’s flexibility. The angle provided in this toy is a natural curve that is sure to fit just about anyone well. The flared base is more of an anchor shape than a flare, but fits nicely between the cheeks without being able to feel that it is there. As far as I can tell, the Bootie comes in both Black and Purple, I got the purple one.

Being 100% Silicone, this toy is very easy to care for and clean. Silicone is smooth and non-porous, so you can wash it with some toy cleaner, 10% bleach solution, wipes or it can be fully disinfected by boiling it for 3 minutes or by throwing it into the top rack of your dishwasher. The manufacturer name is on the toy in a sort of engraved fashion, so you will need to pay extra attention to that section during cleaning, to ensure that all grooves are indeed cleaned out, but other than that, there are no seams or grooves to make it uncomfortable, and you are not able to feel the manufacturer name. Being silicone, you should stick to water-based lubricants, as silicone based lubes will slowly eat away at the toy over time.

This toy came packaged in a molded plastic shell, inside of a cardboard box. It also came with a care sheet and an informational booklet on some of Fun Factory’s other toys as well as a sample packet of their water-based lubricant, which I did appreciate the fact that it had a very silicone-based feel to it, since I am not one for water-based lubes, due to the time in which it wears off and the way it runs during use. Their brand stayed where it was supposed to, like a gel or silicone, and it lasted quite some time without the need for re-application.

Black Label Jack Rabbit Anniversary Edition

For this month’s CalExotics Sexpert review, I received the Black Label Jack Rabbit Anniversary Edition. There are so many rabbits on the market right now, so you should research a while before picking one out. The BLJR is a dual stimulation vibe, which is my preference these days. It also has two other traits that are my preferences, it’s waterproof and it is made of silicone.

Being that it is made of silicone, it is only compatible with water based lubricants. The tip of this rabbit is slightly rounded and looks realistic.  It has a ridge down the middle of the shaft as well, which I couldn’t feel once the toy was inserted. The shaft has a swirled design, that is purely decoration and gives no added stimulation.

The Jack Rabbit was very easy to use. The control panel is made of ABS plastic. The Jack Rabbit has 5 buttons on the control panel located at the base of the shaft. The middle button is the power button, which has to be pushed before any of the other buttons will work. The top button controls the 7 functions of vibration for the rabbit arm. The two buttons at the bottom increase or decrease the shaft’s rotation and vibration. The vibrations of the clitoral arm and the shaft can be used together or separately, depending upon user preference. The rabbit runs on 3 AA batteries. The battery cover was a bit of a pain to open and close.

The shaft is thick and gave a very full feeling when inserted. Starting out I had to use a bit extra lube, because of the thickness of the shaft. The rotations were an added bonus for me. To get any enjoyment from the clitoral arm took quite a bit of maneuvering for me. It is not something that will fit every woman’s anatomy perfectly, so you may have to play with it a bit, to figure out what works best for you.


  • easy to use
  • easy to clean
  • dual stim
  • thick
  • silicone
  • waterproof- no difference in strength when underwater that I noticed



  • may not fit everyone’s anatomy
  • lint magnet
  • 3 AA batteries
  • rather loud

Overall, I would say that this is definitely one that I would consider purchasing. The Jack Rabbit should be stored away from other toys, preferably in a cloth bag. Be warned it is a lint magnet, but then again I have noticed that most of my silicone toys are. It is a turnoff that it requires 3 AA batteries, but there is a rechargeable version of this vibe available for an extra chunk of change. It is easy to clean, whether it be with soap/water, toy cleaner or toys wipes. The major downside of this rabbit for me, was the loudness of the toy itself. If you’re using this and don’t want anyone to know, be sure to turn on some music before getting started to muffle the sound.

Thanks CalExotics for providing this to review!

Baconlube is the most disgustingly amazing product ever!

This is real y’all! I laughed my ass off the first time I saw the ad above. It is hilarious. I thought it was fake. Turns out, it was fake; but tons of people wrote to them and asked them to make it, that J&D’s decided to create it.

You’ve always been a lover of bacon. Well, now you can be a bacon lover with baconlube, the world’s first bacon-flavored massage oil and personal lubricant. No more horrifying bedroom experiments with bacon grease or 3rd degree skillet massage burns.
FACT – People are passionate about bacon.  According to a recent survey of Canadians by Maple Leaf Foods, Canadas market leader in the bacon category, when asked to choose between bacon and sex, more than four in 10 (43%) chose bacon.  Thanks to baconlube, Canadians will never have to choose between two of life’s greatest pleasures again.  So you’re welcome Canada, you’re welcome – we’ve got your back.
J&Ds baconlube is water-based, proudly Made in America and is the gold standard of meat-flavored massage oils.  We only made a very small quantity of this pork flavored nectar and it’s available while supplies last.
What started as an April Fool’s joke is now a REAL product thanks to the thousands of people that emailed, harassed and sent us highly explicit explanations of what they would do with this (thanks for that).

Just Keep It Sizzlin’ with baconlube. They’ll be bacon for more.

P.S. It’s vegan-safe, making this the perfect gift for the vegetarian in your life.

The minute I heard of this, I KNEW I had to try it. I finally got my pork-loving hands on a bottle of this vegan (yep, it’s true, no pigs were harmed to make this) lube. I opened the bottle and smelled it. It really does smell like bacon. The issue lies in the taste. It has a bit of hickory flavor, but it is not salty enough to be bacon. I don’t know about you, but I LOVE salty, fatty bacon that has been cooked to a nice crisp.

The lube had no salt to it, I guess they expect you to get the full flavor at the end, like a treat. I only used this for blow jobs, and refuse to put it near my vag, same goes for all flavored lubes.

Baconlube is a J&D’s original item, and can be purchased from their site in a 2oz bottle for $11.99. I ran across the lube, when I was researching their Bacon Salt, that I bought from another website. We are all out of Bacon Salt, unfortunately. That was VERY good, and I need to buy more. Maybe I should just mix some Bacon Salt in the Baconlube to get the right taste?

Alise vibrating massager from New Sensations

The Alise vibrating massager is from New Sensations. It is available from Eden Fantasys in 2 colors, pink and purple. While I was very excited to try this massager, I was disappointed by its lack of power as well as the neck of the massager being much too flexible for my tastes. I prefer firmer more powerful vibes for my sex play. I received this from Eden Fantasys in exchange for an honest review, you can read my entire review here.

Settings on Ali’se
Level 1- low – 1 vroom/1 bee
Level 2- medium – 2 vrooms/ 1 bee
Level 3- high – 3 vrooms/ 1 bee
Level 4- slow build with long buzz at the end -bzbzbz…bzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Level 5- bzz bzz bzz- continuous
Level 6- bz bz bz – continuous
Level 7- bzz bzz bzz bzzzzzzz- at 4 maybe 5 sec intervals

*When you turn it off/on, it starts over at the lowest level.* 


  • body safe silicone
  • rechargeable
  • waterproof
  • quiet
  • easy to use
  • easy to clean


  • too flexible neck
  • large head

Key points:

  • material safety rating of 10 on EF scale
  • Length: 7 1/2″
  • Insertable length: 5 1/2″
  • Circumference: 5 1/2″
  • Diameter: 2″
  • Weight: 0.75 lb
  • Functions: Escalating / Pulsating / Rollercoaster
  • Special Features include: Light indicators, Multifunction, Multispeed, Quiet
  • Waterproof
  • Controlled by a built in control pad
  • Rechargeable

While it had many of the features that most people would look for: rechargeable, waterproof, whisper quiet ( and I do mean whisper quiet), it lacks the power that many of us crave. This makes it less likely that I would use this toy as my go-to option. It was disappointing, to say the least.

Advanced Risqué Dual Teasers

This month’s selection from the CalExotics Sexpert program is the Advanced Risque Dual Teasers. The dual teasers are independently controlled dual massagers that are available in black, purple and blue. The bigger bullet  or standard sized teaser has 5 speeds, while the smaller bullet has 5 levels of vibrations/pulsations and escalations. The This particular toy is made from  body safe materials. It is made from ABS plastic and covered in PU cote. It is not a waterproof bullet. It’s very easy to clean; I either use warm soap and water or a toy wipe.  It is best to clean it before and after each use, to get the most out of your bullet. I use water based lubricants with most of my toys, because with water based lube, I can be sure that my toys are safe from degrading. It runs on 3 AAA batteries. It was very easy to use, mainly because it only had 2 buttons. I actually enjoyed the simplicity in this part of its design.

Now I am going to go through what I liked and disliked about this product.


  • It has a decent amount of power
  • the PU has no drag to it
  • easy to use
  • easy to clean
  • easy to store


  • I don’t care much for the dual bullets
  • I am not one for vibrations/pulsations/escalations


I am honestly getting a little fed up with most bullets. I like a good bit of power and I prefer a strong stimulation over any type of patterns. Simply give me a good balance between low-medium-high and I will be satisfied. The smaller bullet was a little too thick to be comfortable on my clit. I preferred the standard sized bullet; the smaller one was just in the way. I  wish that I could find a rechargeable bullet. That is something that would make me so happy to find. For now, I try as many toys as possible, hoping to find the right fit for my body.

Thanks again, to California Exotics for providing this item through their Sexpert review program.

Safest Materials for Your Sex Toys

The sex toy industry is a pretty vast one. Believe it or not, there are more materials used to create sex toys as compared to the clothing industry. So, what’s the safest substance for your body? We’ve listed them (Best to worst) down below:


Silicone is by far, the best material you can buy. It is soft, flexible and really comfortable for both male and female sex toys. There are numerous reasons as to why we say this. First off, silicone is really easy to clean, that is why it is popular in the medical field too. The material is non-porous and won’t absorb any fluids. However, one major drawback is that these toys cost a bit more than what ordinary people are willing to spend to fulfill their humanly needs.


Elastomer is pretty much the downgraded version of silicone. Most of the characteristics of both materials are the same. For instance, it can also be washed easily, it’s soft but Elastomer is slight porous. It will absorb fluids to some extent and transfer bacteria. If you can’t afford the expensive silicone, then this is the second best thing.

Cyber Skin

Cyber Skin is a material that is used to imitate the soft feel of skin. This substance isn’t that safe but its still number three on our list. It is oil-based with porous material so it should not be used to induce internal pleasure. You should use a condom if doing so. It’s a bit difficult to wash because the standard soap will break down the Cyber Skin material.

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